Straterra carries a side-effect for a few men where you ejaculate before you orgasm, which makes it impossible to orgasm during sex because your erection begins to shrivel. I’ve only ever orgasmed inside my own Mommy, and now I know the only woman in the world that’s right for me would be my Mommy as well, and I will be her daughter. I want her to make me!!! Not force me, though yes, but make me. Take who I am and turn it into who I should be. Her baby, eternally spraying cum into her. At the center of it, but an affected maze that left me without knowing who I was. Autopilot and warm, distant confidence without her. Her son and then her daughter with her. Her captive, her pet. Loving her, loving her, loving her. Everything that could possibly all be a part of life without excluding something else. Showing her how I could be hers and finding a way to be hers like finding sex. My Mistress. My fucking Goddess. My Everything. My Mommy. My Mommy with a grip on me, a control over me that there’s no sense in touching on because it’s so hard to believe.
Love is a fucking shadow to what I had with Mommy, and perhaps more of a shadow to what I could have with Dr Lee. Love is a shadow. My coursing,, maddening need. Ablaze with lust, aglow with . . . . I submit to how I feel for her and the rest rises from that. What is that emotion? It’s not love. It won’t die. Devotion. It’s devotion. Devotion without mistrust, without restraint, without any other concern, without reluctance, and without shame. Completely without shame. Pride or doubt would dispel it. It’s in the air that I breathe. I live in a world of pain and bliss that’s so, so, so soft. And just a touch sad that Mistress Lea consumed the person I was and allowed me to be born, and that over the years I’ve reconciled with my new reality with an entirely accepting peacefulness, but that there’s a soft futility to it. As beautiful as this experience is, it means nothing if I don’t act on it. This landscape of a heart . . . maybe someday she’ll want to explore it. No one else will ever be able to.
