I was beautiful at twenty-four. Daddy was dead so when Mommy came home and saw me in a dress and pronounced it “the real me,” it was full steam ahead. I was already beautiful and had soft features but $50,000 worth of plastic surgery didn’t hurt. Then there was the operation at Sloan Kettering for my voice. And estrogen and clothes. And etiquette lessons. “You must at least know how to behave,” Mommy said. Everything but the penis. Doctor’s couldn’t make me a vagina and, anyway, it would have been a real shame. So I wasn’t pursuing a career. I was working in an office on campus. The woman who got me the job had been a former lover something. We had two dates, I blundered pretty awfully and she met someone else who she married as I was working my way up to an apology. She was my email box, my 2am email box. She never answered one of them but she knew me better than anyone but Mommy. When I called her asking for work, she teased at putting me at the front of her departmental office then got me a job in the financial aid center. Boys and girls and boys and boys sitting in a hard backed chair with me swiveled at my desk, talking about their options. I would make small talk with all of them. Women were weird at first. Men were across the spectrum. A God damned nineteen-year-old said softly, “You look petrified behind those eyes. A boyfriend can help with that.”
“Tell me more,” I breathed.
He just smiled and we got back to business. I wrote down my number on the back of one of my office cards when we were through. “For what we talked about.” I almost collapsed from the effort to maintain my nonchalance then, broken, I said hungrily, “The fear. I need help with it.”
“You’re too beautiful,” he said, standing.
“Is that an issue? I would love to think the process incorporates all sorts of fun, intimate activities.” I wanted to scream, “Brain! Let me take you to dinner tomorrow night!”
“What’s so special about me?”
“Your proximity, you idiot. Brian, you’re the first man who’s made me feel like a woman in a month.” Brian slumped back in his seat and I closed the office door. “I’ve never done this before but I trust you.” I peeled down my pantyhose and lifted my skirt to show him my bald, erect, 10-inch dick. I guided his head towards it, watching his mouth take it in. “I love that so much, Brian,” I said in my best nymphette voice and my dick twitched in his mouth. He came. “I want to buy you dinner tomorrow night. Call me and we’ll make plans. Please call.”
We wound up at a museum at dusk. We’d stare at a painting, I’d jostle him with my leg and then grab his hand by the fingertips and lead him to the painting. Soon, we were holding hands. I wanted to melt when his hand reached up to hold the small of my back in front of one painting. This nineteen-year-old in jeans and me in my skirt and jacket from work. I was probably one of the eight most beautiful women in the state and he was being debonair. I leaned in the thumbed his lower lip. “Kiss me.”
He did, not formally. Tastefully that had me blink in surprise. “Where would you rather be right now? There must be somewhere.”
In my car, driving home, so I can be alone when I think about how I can’t have what I want from a relationship with Brian. “Sitting down. There must be a cafeteria.”
“No. I checked when we came in.” He was smiling so wide and it meant less than it should but still so much more than if I thought this would happen. “Please say more.”
“Come home with me. We’ll order a pizza.” I tilted my weight forward then back. “I thought that would be enough. I’ll drive.” I left him downstairs and went up to slip on an aqua satin robe that didn’t fall halfway to my knees. Figuring my dick might grow hard during the evening and that would leave him an opportunity to initiate, I skipped panties. I paused in the doorway to the stairs. “Now, I’m just saying. Yes, I’m fishing for compliments, but I’m just saying, have you ever seen this before?” I spun in profile and held my robe to hug my ass.
“No,” he chuckled. “I honestly haven’t. They’re perfect half-circles.”
“I love cock.” I said around a few pieces of caramel popcorn I picked up from a bowl, my foot on the rung of a barstool. “No more. You talk some.”
Brian’s gaze drew itself to my penis, making it harder and harder. I pulled the belt loose from the robe and straddled his lap, feeding him a nipple from my oversized breasts. He took to nursing naturally and soon his hand was pumping my dick. I rose up, replaced the tit mound in his mouth with my cock. Grabbing either side of Brian’s head, I fucked his mouth as fast as I could, slamming shaft into his throat until he was wheezing in and out through the nose. “I love my little boy. Eat it, baby. Eat it all, baby!” I screeched as I collapsed with Brian, two entwined bodies. Brian’s hands ran through my nude body until he found my breasts. He slurped a nipple into his mouth and began to suckle. I reclined back on the sofa and scissored his legs with mine. I tousled his hair lightly, cooing to him. “That’s right. Mommy wants you to get all of her tit you want. They’re all yours, baby. Just keep showing me you want them.” Brian began humping against my leg spastically, beyond his ability or desire to control. He whined high into my breast. My own erect cock pressed into his throat. “Any which one you want, dove.” He dipped his head and slavered over my dick, basting it with spit, sucking and jerking until I was close to bursting. All the while, he spastically fucked my leg. I began to feel his hot cum spray on my left leg. “Mmm, babydoll. Let my dick out, please. Let’s get a shower first, before we go any further.” I could handle his dick on two fingers of vasoline, I was so loose. I slipped into the walk-in shower with him and wrapped my arms around my neck, my 5’6″ chin perfect for looking up into his eye while I played footsie and slid my breasts about his chest. “Time to do it, lover. Time to fuck me.” I spun in a little pirouette and tossed my hair over one shoulder. I leaned forward and fastened my hands to the tile surface, scooting back until my back was perfectly horizontal. I didn’t even complain when Brain slid into me with one, long stroke, I was so ready. He set a maddened pace, a furious animal, pushing me forward, up the shower wall. His hands held my breasts and his dick reamed my ass and I screamed. Again and again, I screamed. “Cock! Fuck! Use!” and finally he fell limp against my back. I turned him and, grabbing the soap, washed him off before relishing being a complete whore by dropping to my knees to suck him dry. I cut off the water. “Why don’t you shake your hot little butt on home?” I said with a carnivorous smile. He just stared, blankly. “I do want to see you again but kicking you out the door after you claiming my ass and me blowing you on my knees. Well, you aren’t a woman.”
“So I’ll hear from you.”
“No. You’ll call me. Brian, I’m going to fall in love with you. Tonight was just watching the Ice Capades, but I thought you’d enjoy it.”
“You drove me here.”
“Get an Uber. I’m going to go jerk off. And, no, you don’t get a selfie for your Facebook page until the third date.” I smiled softly. “So, I’ll be checking my phone every it rings, hoping it’s you. The problem is that I’ll start to feel like a psycho after two or three days, so please don’t make me wait too long.” I smiled again. “Not too long. Brian?”
“Yes.” He was dressing.
“One more thing, please.” My voice cracked. “Please tell me I’m beautiful.”
“Most people live their whole lives without seeing a woman as beautiful as you in person.”
“What do you think?” I was gnawing on my knuckle.
“You’re what Fate looks like. I’m sorry. I can’t do any better.”
“Thank you, Brian,” I answered, my eyes downcast. “Let me give you a lift back to your car.”
He called me the next evening, as I was cleaning up from dinner. I literally dove to the far side of the table for the phone. “Brian? Hi. Did you miss me. No, not one bit. I haven’t thought about you since the drive home. No, the whole drive home.” I laughed. “I am so retarded. No, you don’t have to say it. Brian. No, I don’t need reassurance. You’re mine or will be soon enough.” I giggled. “You know it’s true. If you tried to leave, between how you feel and what I’d do, we’d wind up back together. You are very literally with me whether you want to be or not, Baby. And, yes, I know it turns you on.”
“You’re awfully certain of yourself, Dove.”
“Don’t try to bullshit me. You’re just scared it’s not true. Test it. Hang up.” I dropped the phone and pulled out a bottle of Vodka. Two hours later, I called Brian in tears. His voicemail.. The callous bastard. “I’m glad I got this and not you. I can’t talk to you right now. I’m afraid of what I might say. Let me just say I love you and I will forgive you, but I need some space. Please don’t try to contact me before dark on Friday.”
Through the reminder of the week, I received a series of increasingly frantic emails at my work address and a few hangup calls that would leave me just enough time to get a sentence in: “Please don’t be a child.”
When the phone rang with the black sky on Friday, I answered in a panic. “I was so worried I’d lose you. I was petrified each time you called. I knew I needed to say the right thing to keep you calm.”
“Don’t say that. It would have worked out anyway.”
“Perhaps. Why did you hang up?”
There was a pause. “You told me to.”
“Fuck, Brian. What gives me all the answers?” I smiled. “Except one. I own you. I want to hear you say it.”
“You own me,” he laughed.
“I want your mouth latched to my breast,” I said in a detached tone of voice. “And your hard dick screwing my thigh. And then your hot cum splashing against it while you whimper like the dog you are. Then I want to gorge your throat on my dick. I want you to play with yourself while I slowly slide over your windpipe and down your gullet again and again. Then I want you to fuck me. Do you think you could do that for me, Baby?”
I lay face down on the bed with my legs spread in a V while Brian fucked me. “Your asshole’s like fucking heroin,” he grunted at one point.
“Shoot it up.”
He did thirteen minutes later. He lay his head on one cheek and began to speak. “Fate, I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m three months into my second year of college and I’m afraid I’ll lose everything. Absolutely fucking everything.”
“You won’t lose me, Brian. I’ll catch you, no matter what. Well, as long as you don’t pick up the pipe or something.” I luxuriated in the sweat-damp sheets and the weight of Brian’s head. “Let’s go out. There’s a place just down the street. The Fifty-One-Fifty. Give me a bit to get done up. Better yet, I’ll meet you there. It’s a block and a half down Dauphin on the right.”
I had a surprise for Brian. I meticulously did myself up supermodel beautiful only three inches too short. Caramel leather leggings and a light sweater. At the club, I sat next to him at the bar and immediately began necking passionately. All eyes were on us. I was used to it. Brian’s eyes were full of wonderment, like he was truly getting noticed for the first time in his life. I hung on him all night, stealing kisses when I could, encouraging him to smack my ass till the sound of it rang out across the bar. I had to hold in my laughter. “Blowjob. Now,” I said to him and led him into the bathroom for him to suck my dick. He took his time and I didn’t force him, just let hm suck at the head of my pens while I jerked it off. “You are so a dream come true,” I squealed. Brian planted one last sucking kiss on my dick crown. I continued to masturbate as he looked eagerly, lovingly up at me. When I shot all over his face, I ran to the sink and spit water loudly onto the floor then slapped my face hard, “You pig!!!” I stormed out the bathroom and front door, Brian in tow. “Mommy does not eat your god damned cum!”
“I’m sorry, Mommy,” he said in a silly, drunk voice.
I spun. “Holy Fuck!” a man called as I began to tongue my semen off Brian’s young, handsome face while he cupped my ass. We returned to our stools and found two drinks waiting for us. “Oh the house,” the manager called.
“If you throw in some frosted mugs, I’ll do a striptease.”
He looked at me with the deer-stuck-in-headlights eyes I always saw wherever there’s alcohol. “Deal,” he hissed.”
I pulled my sweater off and twirling over my head, breasts exposed, made my way to one of the pool tables. “Fair warning. I’m in between.” I kicked my sandals off at the base of the pool table and climbed atop it, groping my breasts as though my arms belonged to someone else. I lay down on the table and began to squirm out of the leggings. I got my bald dick hard and Brian joined me. “I cannot wait to get you home.” Here I was, the most beautiful woman any of these folks had ever seen. “And have your nice, hard, boring, thrusting, pole of satisfying fuck flesh bury itself in my slutty ass. You do want to find out what a hot little piece of ass my Mommy raised?”
“I want you here.”
“Bad things could happen,” I whispered. “Probably would.” Our two beer mugs sat on the bar, full, when we passed our seat. I glanced at Brian and he shrugged. We sat to drink.
“I’ll pay you five hundred a night for what you just did after three hours of free drinking in your birthday suit.” said the bartender.
I reached out and pulled a cigarette from his pack. “You’re on old man. I’ll be here tomorrow by 8pm. But We’re a group act.” I set the cigarette down and straddled Brian in his stool. He wiggled back and forth in anaticipation. My dick was growing hard and he was plaaying with it. I sat back and locked eyes with him. Eventually, his has hand slowed and rose to trace the underside of my breasts. My nerves were frenzied. I felt so alive. “Make me cum?” The entire club was circled around us as he lifted me onto the bar and began to tug my dick.
“Words don’t exist to describe your beauty. Everyone? Have you ever seen a more beautiful woman?”
The call came back. “No.”
Brian planted a hand on either side of me. on the bar railing and began to suck my sore penis. I pulled away and tried to rise to my knees but Brian was faster and stronger and I wound up on my back with my knees draped over his shoulders. “Yes, Baby. I love it like this. I love you so.”
Brian’s finger shot into my ass and I came into his waiting mouth.
We joked and drank the rest of the night away and my stud boyfriend fucked me for an hour and twenty minutes when we got home.
I told wealthy Mommy all about Brian and she demanded to meet him, to have an austere, formal introduction. I bought Brian a suit. He wouldn’t compromise on the ear jewelry though. Lorainne, Mommy, received him in the hall and led him into the library. “So I understand you’re only nineteen.”
“That should give Fate an outlet for her need to nurture and make her nothing but a good influence on me.”
“And her?”
“I have no sense of identity. Fate’s understanding of who I am is my sense of identity.”
“And, tell me so I worry less, are you honest with her about who you are?”
“Yes, I’ve never found such safety, such strength in being so fully understood.”
I tapped at the paneling. “I’d like to have him with me for a moment.”
“He’s a fucking snake. You’re aware, I trust?”
“Yes, Mommy.”
“She knew when she picked me up,” he grinned.
“And I’m not afraid.” I kissed Brian somewhat inappropriately.
“Would you like to grope her breasts?”
“I’m too smart to.”
“I’ll be on the other side of the house.”
“The billiards room is on the other side of the house,” I said to Brain to explain. “Mommy kept my bedroom after I left for college. It was redone when I was fourteen to double as another bedroom, so the bed is a cherry fourposter. Things like that.”
“I’d love to see it. Most especially with you.”
“Love to too. I could go for a romp now that she who is always right is gone.” I tore off my shoes and left them with most of my clothes along the hallway that led to my bedroom.
“Wait. Please.” I stopped with my hand upon the doorknob, left foot arched. Brian knelt and placed a long, sucking kiss on my ass cheek. “Just in case there won’t be another chance.”
I reclined across the bed, facing him.. “How do you feel about those PVC sissy dresses with the padlocks?”
He smacked my ass lightly a few times and I rolled over onto all fours. We were fucking so fucking much that lube was rarely an issue for long. I groaned and gurgled as he speared my needy ass with his platinum dick. A moment later, as he took me, I whimpered words I didn’t understand.
“Baby. Love. Oh my. Your ass. Tell me its real.”
“Real,” I squealed, mouth agape, tears in my eyes.
“Perfection,” he said simply and grasped my waist and began pulling me back on him like I were a ragdoll. I tried to slap at his hand but that only met with an increasingly violent rhythm. Nineteen-year-olds. I gave up before he dd and he used me as an object of sexual gratification while I pleaded for reassurance that I was tight enough. My hyper-sensitive shitter played with his dick while he fucked it, spasms, squeezes, pulses, clenches. It had so many ways of rewarding him. I wanted to cum on him when he pulled out. I motioned him to stay near the side of the bed and rose on spread knees, rubbing my girl clit. My mouth twitched, my eyes bulged, I gasped, but made no real sound until I softly whined, “I’m yours” and shot cum over his stomach and chest.
“I could never keep you. You’ll see.” He was glancing about. I pointed to one of the gossamer curtains. Give Mommy something to think about.
“You can use it on your dick too. What makes you think you could never keep me?”
“You’ll never settle down. You’re not made for it. You’ll die in the saddle or alone.”
“Yeah, but what about me says this?”
“You’re unique to me. Utterly. I’m first among many with you.”
“That could be a woman thing. I’m not sure.”
“I’ve never been in love before. I don’t know. But then there’s that to. Everybody gets his heart broken by his first love, right?”
“Not if you better-deal me, not that you could. Shit. I honestly didn’t intend to say that.”
He smiled in pleasant reassurance, “Fate. You’re right. Well, it certainly wouldn’t last and I’d lose you in the process.” Brian stuck his tongue out at me. We held eye contact perfectly before I cracked a smile.
“All good things to those who wait, I hope. Let’s go find Mommy. Wait! I need to get something. Turn around.” I stuffed a lingerie cosplay corset, wings, and assorted accessories into an overnight bag and then truly saw the dresser. “Tell me your life story.”
“Really? Even my pet gerbils?”
I smiled. “Anything at all, but face the windows.” When I walked between him and the setting sunlight, his jaw dropped and eyes grew round with fear and something I never could quite pick out. “I’m yours, Baby,” I whispered, nodded with two eyelash bats, and again whispered, “yours.” Brian’s face dropped and he broke into the it’s-really-true idiot smile. I sat beside him and placed my fingers under his chin and raised his head to meet my eyes. “There. I knew you could,” I said in a matter-of-fact tone. I caught a laugh in my throat. “Fuck, I hate you. I want to blow your dick right now so you can see me done up like a princess for a ball trying –and that’s the no, ‘trying’ — to suck cum from you.”
“Can I have a kiss?”
“Would you like kiss?
“Yes.”
“Would you like a long, deep, passionate kiss or do you want to lie back and kiss leisurely.”
“Are the clothes coming off?”
“That would be no.”
“Passionate.”
“Okay, Baby, I’m going to have to ask you to take your dick out first. Thank you. Now remember that I own you.”
