I had been invited to Dr Lee’s house for dinner, She was a colleague of my father and our first date had been arranged. This was our second. I was twenty-four with a blond ponytail, well-built, and with more of an interest in fashion than most people my age. I was also a rung short of being model beautiful, as was Dr Lee. She was thirty-two and barely over five feet with hair below the middle of her back. Black hair. She was Korean. Her eyes were much more slanted than most Asians with fiery amber cores. She had answered the door wearing sheer pajamas and took me upstairs to watch TV in her bedroom. I sat on a chair, nervous. I was also a virgin.
“Michael, I’d like some tea before dinner. Would you?”
“Absolutely. I’ve never had hot green tea.”
“Come downstairs,” She waved me to follow her. I sat at the table in the kitchen while she scooped tea from too different canisters into two cups. “My tea is traditional. You wouldn’t like it as much. I’m making you a brand drunk by Orientals born here.” I removed the top from my cup when she removed hers. “Let it cool. I’ll tell you when and you’ll take a big sip, a really big sip, so big it burns a bit and leaves your chest warm.” We sat, watching each other’s faces till she reached out and tapped my tea cup’s rim with her fingernail. I took as long a draw as I could. The tea had fallen a quarter of the way down the cup with I was done.
“Now sip slowly, steadily.” She smiled very wide. “Let’s talk, Michael. What were you thinking about upstairs?”
My face contorted in concentration. It felt I should be absolutely as honest as I could. “I was thinking that I didn’t want to fuck you, that I want to be with you, in a relationship.”
“You don’t know me, Michael.”
I would have argued but somehow I knew that she was making every bit the effort to be honest. It seemed simplest too say, “I don’t know you, Lea.”
“So what makes you want to be with me?”
Things that had previously tickled my mind when I let daydreams get the best of me gushed out in adulation “I don’t know you, Lea. But I know something that you are a part of. I don’t how to understand it, but I know it. And it’s perfect.”
“Do you see me as mother, Michael.”
My heart stopped in my chest. I knew I had to answer and I had to answer honestly so I could continue feeling so wonderful. “Twice, but only for a few seconds each time. I really want to, and I think you want it. But I’m not sure, Lea.”
“I’d like you to think of me as Mommy in addition to however else you think of me. You should call me Mommy whenever you want too, whether we’re drinking tea or not.”
It was true. My eyes rolled back in my head and my eyelids fluttered in bliss.
“Yes, Michael. I am your Mommy and when you need to please me to see me pleased, I am your Mistress. You will know that and never say it except when we are being so honest, but you will understand it is true by how you long to fill my needs when I overflow with them, and how you fear release when you become excited. You will think of me as your girlfriend when you speak of me to others, and only then. This is consummation, Baby. You are mine.”
My head swam with dumb rapture. “How can I feel what you want me to feel, Mommy?”
Mistress Lea’s eyes narrowed. “You will know the truth when you hear it. Whenever I tell you how to think or feel, or what to believe, while we are drinking tea or something else special, you will understand that it is true. And when you understand that it is true, it will become true because you understand it is. Understanding something I say is true will make it true. Do you want these things to be true?”
“Please.”
“You are defined by your desire to submit to and obey Mistress Lea.”
“Mommy.”
“You must want to fuck Mistress Lea an awful lot.”
“Yes, Mommy.”
“Michael, I gave birth to you. I raised you. I will deflower you when I am ready. And now you are dating me. Now tell me why you don’t finish that tea, crawl under the table, and eat my pussy. It will taste better than anything you’ve ever tasted before and, better yet, when you taste my pussy, everything I say will be true but you won’t speak.” She stood and slipped off her pajama bottoms and then reclined in her chair.
I pushed my chair back and crawled until the table, stomach full of hot tea. I felt different, at ease being afraid. I knew the tea had been somehow drugged but it was a warm feeling, comforting. When my tongue hit Mistress’s, I squealed at the taste of Mommy’s ambrosia.
“My pussy is the alter you worship at. Repent for all your sins by taking communion from your goddess. Your guilt is washed away. Guilt will gnaw at you a few hours later and it will grow and grow and you won’t know why, but you’ll feel desperate to pray at my pussy.” Her voice was shaking and whiny. “You will be unable to stand it after a few days and will do anything, absolutely anything to drink my nectar. A drug. You can’t think. You can’t hear. You can only understand the things I saw are true without understanding my voice or ever knowing it’s a voice. Eat your Goddess good, Michael. Goddess needs it really bad right now. My pussy is making you understand that you love needing to eat my pussy and that you’re eating my pussy while you need to do it and that just makes you need to taste my pussy more. You will always need this, always. Never will anything fill the void that’s within you now, only the taste of my pussy can keep you from going mad from a craving you’ll never be able to identify. You’ll die, Michael. You’ll fucking die. The screaming need will grow in your brain that you’ll learn, rationally, is sated by tasting Goddess’s ambrosia, will consume every waking moment until you’re weeping and jabbering for it to end and then, and only then, will you understand you need to suckle at my cunt. Now eat my fucking pussy! Goddess loves cumming again! Michael, Baby? Michael, Baby?”
I slid an arm under each thigh and ravenously licked Goddess. I felt like a wolf devouring a living prey, pulling blood from it as I kissed and slurped. I ate Goddess at a maddening pace. Tasting, tasting, tasting, kissing, swabbing, swabbing, driving my tongue into her and slurping out the nectar of her pussy. Truth. I would have felt ashamed at taking such palatial pleasure at eating pussy, but I was a mere penitent. It was my Goddess, and this was how Mommy had instructed me to worship. I was aware of the taste of her in my mouth, of the texture of her pussy and the act of licking it to a much lesser extent, and not a single other thing. I drank purity. I drank truth. I drank of the divine. The experience was consuming me. I would forever be a slave to it.
“That’s so good! Goddess wants to grant you absolution. Eat me! Fucking God good!” Her voice turned throaty. “That’s it! That’s it! You extoll your Goddess’s glory so well!! I love how you worship, Michael! Drink my ambrosia and find your existence in this, in worshipping Goddess, in praying at her altar. Eat me good! Goddess is going to never! Never! Never want enough! Always more! Always hunger. For this taste, for this.”
Goddess twitched again and I sucked a bit more ambrosia. This was home. This was what I would retreat to to face the world. My worthiness proven, I sank back on my heels, planting a few final kisses at the sacrificial alter for my free-will.
“Michael, you will remember that you ate my pussy and because I wanted you to so you’ll know to be in touch whenever you need to. I don’t want you to suffer because you can’t take communion from you Goddess. You’re coming back to the world. Michael, you’ll desperately want to fuck me for the rest of the night but you’ll be too scared to initiate anything, This was time off from reality. You’re awake. Let’s watch the movie.”
Dr Lee said that she was going out of town and that it would be two and a half weeks before we could see each other. I asked if I could call but she said she needed some time to think about what she was going to do with me. As the days wore one, I began to have trouble concentrating. Finally, my thoughts ran to gibberish, one sentence cutting off to make way for the middle of another, and so on. By the end of the first week, I talked to myself nonstop to form a lucid train of thought. The morning of the tenth day, I understood I needed Mommy’s sweet cunt, to worship at her pussy, to extoll my Goddess’s divinity, to praise her perfection, and to taste of her ambrosia. I lay in bed in agony for a full week, masturbating whenever I could, sweating, and burning in fever.
I was in bed when Mistress Lea entered and, shedding her clothes, and made her way to the bedroom. She straddled my face. “Goddess welcomes your prayers, my toy,” she sighed as my tongue slid into her.
Reality began to coalesce again. Then Mommy’s voice, “I want what you’ve been keeping from me, Michael.” She rose and straddled my dick and I immediately began ejaculating, again and again, endlessly.
“I can’t stop cumming, Mommy.”
“It belongs to me, Baby. My pussy’s made it in you.”
My fat eight inch dick held my cum inside her pussy as I shot and squirted.
“That,” Mistress Lea said in repressed ecstasy, cumming for the first time, “is a good boy. Baby, your ass belongs to me. It’s starting to come together,” Mommy smiled, my dick still twitching within her, cumming endlessly. “Would you like some tea? My womb will meld to your soul and provide for it, bending as it bends, a helpless caretaker to the free-will I steal from you..” She smiled again. “You really can’t stop cumming, can you? I guess I should fuck you.” She looked down, somewhat distastefully, then began rocking against me, soon wailing as my over-sized dick remained hard through orgasm. “You’re such a good boy. And your virginity was delectable.”
“Michael, what do you know? What are you most certain of?” Mommy asked me across the table when my tea cup was half empty.
“That I’m wrong.”
“Elaborate, please, Michael.”
“I’m wrong about everything because alternatives might be true instead until you tell me or show me the truth.” I blinked. “It’s not the problem it sounds like. Being wrong about everything makes all choices equal so I trust my instincts.”
Mommy smiled. “I love telling you the truth, Baby. You’ll come by Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday morning to lick my pussy at 7:45am. I can’t deprive you of your sanity. Well, I love it too much to deprive you of your sanity.” Mistress took a sip. “I’ll be in bed, nude. Your code for the door is 7909. You will leave when I hum three times in a row. Do you have any questions for me? Any at all? Do you need to know the truth about anything?”
“How do I feel about you?”
“You don’t feel anything?”
“When I’m wrong about whatever I think, there’s no constancy.”
“Michael, Baby. How did you feel about your mother? Your best memory?”
“I remember her leaving one day when I was very young and she was smiling and nodded and the light in her eyes. The sun rose and set in her eyes.”
“That’s true of me then. I startle you with my significance to you. But it’s not love. You feel that the natural course of the world is for you to please me and that’s the lodestone for how you behave with me. But it’s for my significance. When I am cold and displeased or compliment you for being submissive, you melt inside because your very existence is a good thing because it is a good thing to me and, in these moments, no one matters to you but me. When I mother you, you desperately lust after me and attempt to seduce me until I indicate displeasure with it. It’s not out of eagerness that you attempt to seduce me, but because there’s no other action you can take. None. You won’t even know why. You are to spend at least a half hour a day daydreaming about me feminizing you, centered around me being a governess and mother in temperament and a fellow girlfriend in behavior, because your behavior demands the first, your heart the second, and your ability to accept it the third. Also, you are to fantasize about me screwing your ass once a week. And you understand you are my sissy when I tease you or poke fun of you in any way. How you feel, though? You will be able to sense various aspects of the truth and you will feel happy with yourself for understanding the truth, at peace that it is indeed true, and that the universe would be fundamentally askew if whatever aspect you’re considering or experiencing were not true. The large truth, which you will carry with you forever, because it will always be truth, is that whatever else you are to me, you are first, and always first, a toy for my vanity. Because I bear ultimate significance to you, those words are the alpha and omega of who you are, a toy for my vanity and you will helplessly and always understand that you were put on this planet to be true to yourself and, if you can get just that right, it will make up for all your misdeeds and mistakes in the eyes of your Goddess. You are held on course be it, your thoughts and emotions are sculpted upon this simple ultimate truth about you are. But it is who you are, it is what feels right, it is what you want to become in lifestyle and in the eyes of all the world. The words, ‘a toy for my vanity’ don’t exist to you. The experience of being you is all you know and that needs no words. And you are to believe until the day you die that I will love you someday, unless I grow to love you. Lastly, toy, you simply never have permission to cum. You will lose your erection and be unable to get hard again for five to ten minutes when you approach orgasm. You will feel the chill of your penis wrapped in its skin. This will happen every last time and you will never spend less than forty-five minutes masturbating. Every bit of your cum will be pumped into my womb.” She smiled. “I want your soul and you want me to have it.”
Dr Lee stood. “Buy a dildo. The biggest you can find. But don’t use it. I’ll be blindfolded whenever you come by for confession. Open the door at exactly 7:45 and close it loudly, I need some time to figure this out. You will never know how I feel about you accept in the moment. The rest of the time, you simply won’t care. Off the record, you’re delightful in a puppy sort of way that was there before the tea and you are too fucking beautiful for flings with girls your own age. Time-in. You’re too beautiful not to get in a dress. Do you feel like my sissy?”
“Yes, Mistress.”
“Does it bother you?”
“No, it’s who I am and I love who I am.”
“You are to understand that Lea and Truth are the same word.” She giggled “And you are to get into the habit of calling me Lea more.”
“Yes, Mistress Lea.” I dropped my tea.
Lea arched an eyebrow “Toy?”
“You own me.”
“You’re getting the hang of this. Forty-vie minutes a day. You will spend forty-five minutes a day contemplating who you are to me and who I am to you. It might be a few months before we speak again. Take it out and play with it. I have to get some air.”
I felt better on days that I ate Lea’s pussy than days I didn’t, but when I called to ask if I could come by more often two weeks in, she didn’t return call back. It was like going to the gym or showering, just part of keeping myself in working order. While I licked her, I felt that her presence was an audience for my worshipping my goddess and like that she was curious that I came all that way when I could just eat my mother’s pussy at home. She didn’t understand how sacred the experience was to me, how it was separate from even her. It was her who couldn’t accept her pussy as my goddess, not me. I licked and sucked, desperate to tell her these thing. Finally, early into month four, I collapsed on my arms after her hums.
“I swear, Lea, by everything else that I hold sacred, your pussy is Goddess.”
She placed a hand in my hair. “Then my words are the truth of its Law.”
“Mistress fucking Lea,” I whined.
“I am Mommy right now, Michael.”
“I have a question,” I implored with a tear-choked voice.
“Of course.”
“Your existence consumes me,” I confessed, plaintively “What will I become?”
“First, a question. Are you willing to commit to fucking me until you are just a husk with no meaning or reason to be except for a flicker of being dutiful that floats through your blank mind when your Goddess coaxes surrender from your dick, your little girl clit?”
“Are you erasing me, Mommy?”
“Yes, but I’ll incorporate plenty of what I rubbed out in the finished product.”
“Finished product?”
“What would you think about being my daughter?”
“I think about it a lot.”
“I want you to start using your dildo. Know that I want it and what defines you. You’ll love it. I promise.”
“Mommy?”
“Babydoll?”
“I haven’t cum in four months, since I began coming over.”
“Let’s have some fun with this.” Mommy slid down my dick very slow then spoke but didn’t move. “Imagine your hair cut like a fashion model’s, a woman. Imagine a black skirt tossed up over your ass and imagine DD breasts you grew on estrogen hanging out through an unbuttoned white blouse. You’re wearing magazine perfect makeup and my hands are on your waist. My ten and a half dick is in your ass. I’m pulling you back onto me and you’re grinding your ass against my dick. You’re wearing black fishnet stockings and a garter belt, black pumps, but no panties. Your sissy fuckhole is getting tighter and tighter around my dick as I sample the hot little piece of ass your Mommy raised. Finally your slutty, needy ass spasms around my dick and you squirt a bit of cum and urine on the sheets. Do you want to whine to have me keep going?”
“Please! Please! Keep going!” Understanding what she had meant, I shot up her womb with geyser after geyser of thick, ropy cum.”
“You are always a virgin. You are awkward and foolish with women. I am an exception because I am your Mommy and your Mistress. It is your duty to feed me your virgin cum. We will never talk about this, but every we fuck, you lose your virginity to your very own Mommy. Repeat that.”
“Every time we fuck, I am losing my virginity to my very own Mommy.”
“And who is your Mommy.”
“Lea Lee, the great prophet of my Goddess.”
“And who is your Goddess?”
“My Mommy’s Pussy.”
“Good enough, I suppose.”
