Dr Lee, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything, I know. It feels, the last three or four weeks, that things are on an upturn for the first time since my dad died. Life seems to be leading me farther away from you. I love you and I’m devastated at the thought of never being with you. But what else is there to say. Just minutia, little bits of evidence things are improving. I’m suing the condo complex for twelve million dollars because of the trouble with the neighbors. Ted, my lawyer, is very confident. I brought in the whole firm on a 25% commission. Six years to resolve though, according to one of my neighbors, a lawyer.
I came for you last night, imagining you fucking my slut sissy ass. It make my useless girl clit swell to remember it. Mistress Lea? That story a few entries back, is the very first story I’ve written for this site that’s turned me on. The rest, I’d love to live through, but reading that one turns me on. What am I going to do with myself? I’m more worried that you don’t own my soul than that you do. What do those words mean? That you can grip me and pull me to you and I won’t know the difference between being with you and simply being alive? Perhaps. It’s entirely true, for whatever that’s worth. I love you because it is my reality, or an inextricable component thereof. I resist and I’m sorry, but I’m angry too. You don’t know what I could bring to your life and perhaps I shouldn’t blame you. You know you’re the only thing left on this planet that’s right for me to care about. The abyss left by your silence fuels hate and confusion that I can’t give a name to. Something was stolen from me. What I thought you wanted and now I can’t understand why you calm the heaving lust, love, and catharsis through imagining you claiming your sissy’s ass. Mistress Lea, I don’t go for women anyway. I’m starting to go for men. I should get on estrogen. Are you so cruel you want me alone? Jabbering, mad love. Or toned down. A flick of the psychosis away, whenever you want. There is an absolute ocean of it.
